That night, Brad and I settled into our nightly routine of watching the DVD episodes of the new Battlestar Gallactica series that I am so hooked on right now. I started feeling crampy around 7:00ish and asked that we postpone the current episode! Throughout the week, I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks infrequently, so the cramps that I felt - I chalked up to Braxton. I was getting them regularly, but they were very mild and very far apart. After an hour, I asked Brad to start timing them and they were a consistent 8-10 minutes apart. I went to take a shower to see if they would go away and asked Brad to call the doctor. Our birthing classes taught us to labor at home and not rush off to the hospital until the contractions were 5 minutes apart. Since I was already 3 cm, I just wanted to see if I should go into the hospital to see if I had progressed any and if not, they would send me home. After I got out of the shower, I didn't have another contraction - so I told Brad, we should stay home. He said he already called the doctor and I should just go on in. I had another cramp on the way to the hospital but still thought to myself, "I am convincing myself that I am having contractions...they're not real."
We got to the hospital around 9:00 pm and I felt a little silly walking into triage, where I very calmly and painlessly explained that I was having contractions. The nurse gave me a look like, "yeah - okay..." but maybe that was in my head! She put us into one of the curtained rooms where I gowned up and was hooked up to the monitors...one for the baby's heartbeat and one for the contractions.
While we were waiting, we were cutting up and talking...and listening to the other women in triage going into labor. I felt super guilty - these women were in some serious pain. After listening to them go through their contractions, I told Brad that we should just get up and leave...it put my pain in perspective and I shouldn't have been there.
The monitor wasn't picking up any serious or regular contractions; however, afterward, we found out that the nurse didn't strap it into the right location. So - after making me feel silly for being there...the nurse called the on-call doctor and she told me that they were admitting me since I was already 3 cm. If I didn't go into labor that night, they would plan to induce me in the morning....sa-wee-tah! This actually worked out better than scheduling an induction because the hospital has to take laboring women first and put the scheduled inductions on hold!
At this point, I was having to breathe through my contractions; however they still weren't that bad. On a "pain" scale of 1-10 - 10 being the worst...I was at a 3. Holy cow...Only 3 cm and I was having to breathe through these things? This is going to suck! My plan was to labor as long as I could without the epidural because of the books I've read that said that epidurals could slow the process down. The monitor graphed my contractions and Brad was telling me that they weren't even getting up to the 50% mark. I was feeling worse, but it wasn't unbearable. The L&D nurse came in to check my blood pressure and told me it was steadily climbing, but I was at 4 cm!! She said the contractions were causing my blood pressure to rise and I either needed to go ahead and get the epidural or be given some medication to control the blood pressure. I opted to go ahead and face my biggest fear aside from the delivery itself...the epidural.
So - the epidural was definitely the worst part of the this whole experience only because of the way you have to position yourself, breathing through the contractions and knowing that someone is inserting something into your spine that will make you lose feeling. All in all, it was more my anxiety that kicked in rather than the actual pain of the catheter that was inserted. I found out afterward, that it had to be re-inserted twice because he didn't hit the right spot. Afterward when it kicked in - labor was a breeze!
Brad took my mom back home so that she could get some rest and came back to the hospital with me. We talked and hung out the whole night when Brad finally fell asleep. I couldn't sleep so I thought about how this whole thing was going to go down...until I finally nodded off at 4:30 am. I woke up when one of the doctors came in at 5:00 am and checked me. Still 4 cm...so she broke my water...weird stuff. Glad this happened in the hospital and not at home or in public...geez!
Now I'm in a puddle of my own water and anxiously waiting...
Finally at 8:00 am, my doctor came in to check me and I was 7 cm! Holy Moly Macaroni...
At 9:00 am, the nurse came in to check me and I was at 9 cm! One more stinkin' cm to go...so rather than waiting, she had me start pushing a little in order to get the last cm! This part was too funny...
First of all - let me set up the scenario for you...dimly lit room, worried mother in the corner, anxious dad to be by my bedside and a tv playing in the background for some noise...except it is on Sports Center - I love Sports Center...
So - I start to push and count and then relax...look over to Sports Center to see the highlights of the St. Louis baseball game and Brad's head is in my way..."Honey, can you move over a little bit so I can see the highlights?" Nurse says - "Okay, deep breath, push, 1, 2..." And then more Sports Center...until I look over at my mom and Brad and notice that they are holding their breath and pushing too!!! I had to restrain my giggles...until I farted while pushing. Brad and I looked at each other and just started laughing...I didn't progress during that contraction!!
We finally stopped pushing as the doctor told us we had reached 10 cm and we were going to take break before we actually started with the real pushing. The doctor exited and that left me, my mom, Brad and our awesome L&D nurse, Shelley, to work for the next few hours.
When it was go time, I was amazed at how easy it was to push. I totally thought it was going to hurt or be hard, or something...just not that easy. My mom had one leg, Brad had the other and Shelley gave me the instructions. I constantly had to watch the monitor to ensure I was getting a contraction before pushing. We pushed for 1-1/2 hours until finally we were at the point that the doctor was suiting up. The anticipation was killing me and rather than pushing 10 seconds, 3 times in a row...I wanted to push 4 times in a row to get it going...
Before I knew it, I felt the biggest flush of pressure release ever and out popped this ugly little alien thing - Allie was born at 12:07 pm on Friday 10/9/2009. When Brad showed me these pics - I immediately thought of a baby sumo wrestler!!
This ugly little thing wasn't making a sound. Wasn't making a sound...no sound...Aren't they suppose to make noises...at least cry? I heard a small whining but then quiet. The nurses then went from 2 in number to 4...I had asked that once the baby was born, to place her on my belly so we could immediately start nursing...but no one seemed interested in that... Then another nurse came in to explain that they were taking her immediately to the nursery for transition - that she wasn't in any kind of harm, but they wanted to get her checked out in the Well Baby Nursery. So, off she went in her daddy's arms, accompanied by nurses.
From there, I really didn't know what to think or what was going on. It was all really a blur - until Brad came back and said they were taking her to the Special Care Nursery...a nice way of saying NICU.
All the nurses kept reassuring us that everything was okay, that she was just a little out of it with her breathing, but at that point, as a brand new mother...and Brad Gideon's wife...you don't believe anything positive people have to say about a crappy situation, unless it's official.
The official word came from the NICU doctor that explained, Allie had a lot of fluid in her lungs. They put her on a CPAP, which is a machine that provides oxygen with small bursts into the lungs, gave her an IV and a feeding tube down her throat. They started her on antibiotics in case there was any bacteria in the fluid in her lungs that would cause infection. He explained that best case scenario - no infection, lungs would clear up and she could home with us on Sunday. But there was only a 10% chance of that happening. Worst case scenario, there was an infection or pneumonia and she would need to stay in the NICU for 7 days. I was in too much shock to comprehend what was going on...so I lay in bed and waited for them to transfer me to my post pardom room.
Shelley came in after a while and told me that we could stop by the NICU to see Allie on our way to the room. I was wheeled in to see a small baby with big feet in a small clear box with tubes going every which way...I looked and then we left. No emotion, no nothing. Just a baby in a box.
I was then whisked off to my new room and asked that mom and Brad go home and get some rest. I went to the NICU again around 7:00 that evening by myself. I just wanted to see her again. At this point, I really didn't feel any kind of connection with her. I had only seen her twice and not even touched her. She wasn't even real to me at this point, so I decided to brave it out and sit with her for a few hours.
The nurse that was taking care of Allie was fantastic. She explained absoutely everything and even let me hold Allie's tiny hand. As I sit and stared at her through the see through box - I watched her every movement. I giggled at her big feet and long toes and I felt my heart break when I saw all the bruises from the blood samples and IV's. I cried when I saw her starting to gag on her feeding tubes.
The nurse assured me that it was normal, but then asked if I could leave so that she could follow up with Allie again. She told me that they were planning on possibly weaning Allie off the CPAP and feeding tubes around 3:00 am and get her into a regular bassinet. If I was up at 4:00 am I could come back to check. If they did wean her off, then I would get to hold her...for the first time. Needless to say, I was back at the NICU at 4:00 am.
I strolled in expecting to see her hooked up to everything and the nurse to tell me that they weren't able to wean her...but to my surprise - there she was with no oxygen mask and no tubes coming out of her mouth. She did still have the IV, but she looked much more like a baby and less like a science experiment. I stayed as long as I could until they kicked me out for the NICU doctors to make their rounds. She said that they are waiting on some blood tests to come back and the doctors to make their rounds, but that she had made excellent progress. She said that the blood work would be back at 2:00 and to call back and check.
It took forever for 2:00 to come around. I called the NICU and asked if Brad and I could make a visit and off we went. We both got to hold her again and then the doctor appeared out of nowhere. He showed us the x-rays of her lungs and compared them with the inital x-rays they took immediately after birth. In the first x-ray, there was a lot of fluid and you couldn't make out the outline of her heart. The second x-ray was from earlier that day - no fluid and you could clearly see everything. The doctor said he was shocked at how well she progressed and that he thought she would be able to go home with us on Sunday. Allie just kicked that 10%'s ass.
Late Saturday afternoon - we got a call from the NICU. They were taking Allie to the Well Baby Nursery and she was ours for the evening and we could take her home the following day. Brad and I immediately went to the Well Baby nursery and waited....and waited...finally the nurses asked us to go back to the room and that she would bring her to us. Five minutes later, they wheeled Allie to our room and she was the most gorgeous thing I had ever laid eyes on.
Brad had to take off and head to the house and run some errands, so that left me with the baby...alone. I was super excited though. It was my first opportunity to try and nurse. And she wasn't having it! My recovery nurse suggested that I try skin to skin contact and just hang out for a while and that seemed to do it - after 30 minutes or so, she turned around and latched pretty quickly. It was the most accomplished feeling that anything in the world.
When Brad returned, he and I stared at for the longest time in awe. We did it - and we were going to be the best parents ever, I thought...until that night settled in. She cried the WHOLE night!!! I realize that the scenario is no different than any other first time parents. but it was just funny how I thought it wouldn't happen to me! Brad was a trooper and stayed up wtih us until he just couldn't physically do it anymore! I had to supplement her with a little formula since the NICU had already given her some and she went straight to sleep around 4:00. About 4:30, one of the nurses (how bad is it when you are so tired, you can't remember who came to get your baby) came in to take the baby for one last check up.
Sunday morning came quick and my doctor and Allie's doctor came in to release us. It was a long weekend, but we did it! And now the rest of our lives will begin!
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